Originally Posted by Untouchable, a rant by Henry Rollins

Most of you have been through like... the relationship... ya know, you've gotten down with the boy or girl or whatever - rock, a table leg, or whatever... whatever your preference is... and you remember, of course... how the relationship... like, ya know... EERRRRRZZ... BAAAM! Ya know, and so number two comes around and you say to yourself: "Ah-ha! Well, I'm not going to do that, that, that, and that... 'cause I remember the last time I did those things - look where it got me."

So, relationship number five, a little bit more crafty: "Aaaah-well-hahahaha, I know now that when you say this, she thinks it means this, so if you want her to know that you mean that, you gotta say this."

Okay, relationship number fifty. Really crafty, really mean, you're like, ya know, like some god damn secret agent. Ya know, it's like emotional chess. Okay? It's like: "Well... so I can do this, this, and this... I'll say this, this, and this... so when I go out and do it she won't be able to say anything 'cause I've given her permission to go out and do this, this, and this at the start of the relationship. She can't use it against me in court." It just gets really ridiculous and you find that maybe you had a bad trip with someone else and you take it out on this innocent other person who comes walking down the pike. And this is this thing about that:

That feeling, that untouchable feeling. After you've been through a rough thing with someone else and somehow you managed to survive it and come out in one piece. Whole, but harder for it. That untouchable feeling, like no one is going to do that to you again and why don't they just try it and see how far it gets them. Ya might go as far to get yourself into another relationship and test yourself by seeing how cold and realistic you can be and how far you can go without feeling something, like some kind of messed up drinking contest where you down a gallon of whiskey and show off the fact that you're not drunk, that you can handle your booze, no sweat, that you can emotions, no sweat, that you can go almost all the way and pull out right before you start to feel.

What control you have, so proud of yourself, you tell yourself that you're really doing it right now. That this is good because you've got a grip on the whole thing and it's a good thing that you grew up in time before you wrecked yourself on some stupid relationship. You laugh at all the old things you used to do, a month ago, in the old days, before you got wise, before ya saw the light, before ya got hip to the fact that only way to enjoy someone's company is to enjoy yourself on their time. To be open about being closed, to be honest with yourself about lying to yourself, about using someone else's body to masturbate with instead of using your own, to come to the realization that the only way not to get hurt is to hurt somebody else and keep it that way.

And somehow you make it all right. You have a better understanding of yourself now and you've learned that it's okay to feel good, even if it's at someone else's expense. It's okay because now you are your own best friend. No one loves you like you do. You gotta look out for number one because that's the only one that matters. You! You tell yourself you've been through the wringer and you're smarter, stronger, and tougher now because of your trials, when really you are meaner, more petty and cruel than you've ever been and it doesn't matter who the next person is in your life, they aren't going to get away with what the last one did, and why not? Because you will get away with it first!