While browsing this evening, I came across this:
Quote:
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...maybe there's another reason we sometimes get into, or stay in, abusive relationships - a desire to beat the person at their own game, covertly. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is sometimes passive aggressively sneering at you or making backhanded comments, you sometimes feel the need to gather some dirt on them and then challenge them with everything they've ever said to you, and then overpower them. Sometimes you want to cut them back and then revel in delight at the expressions on their faces when you've made them think they were never in control of the situation to begin with.
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I've done this a lot many times in the past, and can attest to the fact that such a act almost invariably backfires on the executor. While I'm a lot more thick-skinned now, I'd like to know your take on why such things don't usually work?
Is it because the person who (mistakenly) believes (s)he has been wronged spends too much time plotting, instead of using it more productively...??