genuinegirly

None of this seems applicable to your situation, but it's my take on the topic...

Here's how it played out for my parents: my mom had a degree and a great-paying career in clothing merchandising. She loved her job and made good money. Daddy was a low-wage factory worker at a Chevy plant. Their first few years of marriage were ok like this, and they bought a house, planned their lives with this in mind. Sad day when Dad was laid off at Chevy, he became a Mechanic at a Ford dealership and made even less. Somewhere around this time it started bothering him that he made less. Mom saw that it was straining the marriage so she quit her job, basically without discussing it with my dad. It made him upset, but gave him the courage to apply to a scholarship program through Ford and return to school. Around the time I was born he finished his BA. He was promoted to lead mechanic and went on to complete his MBA. In the meantime, Mom was going crazy at home. When she left her job, she left her life behind. She gained a lot of weight, and became a bitter woman who took her frustrations out by yelling at her children. My mom is a wonderful, talented woman who was made for a high-pressure career. She would have been a far more nurturing mother if the time she spent with us was minimal. I always wondered as a child why Daddy went to work all the time when he obviously hated it, and he would have found it far more rewarding to be the stay-at-home parent, if we needed one at all. My life is different than it would have been had Dad not felt inadequate beside my mother's six-figure income. Who is to say that it would have been better -who knows - but I am confident that it would have been healthier for my mom.


When we started talking marriage and family we discussed the situation that my parents faced early in their marriage, and he admitted that he would love more than anything to be a stay-at-home dad, and would have no problem with me making more. My husband and I bounce back and forth between who makes more. He works as a consultant / contracted IT guy and his income is highly variable while mine is the highly stable (but tiny) in one of a grad student stipend. We usually save his income to use on "fun" while mine goes toward monthly expenses such as rent and groceries. When he has a better job, we pump more into our retirement accounts and go on more trips. I like our current arrangement because It offers a great deal of stability and provides a clear division of labor - I'm in charge of getting by while he is responsible for planning all the fun.