Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - What to do about Ex-GF and best friend?

blackdas · 06-15-2003, 01:22 AM

Let me just get to the point...I dated my ex for 2.5 five years, and we decided to call it off a few months ago (I was a hs senior, and she was junior). We are best friends, but we don't really see each other much. Every night we basically go with our respective groups of friends, except for maybe one or two nights a week where we go out to dinner together. We still do some bf/gf touching, so at times I feel like we are still going out. But anyway, I still want to date her but she doesn't want to. She loves me a lot, and I know she does, but she wants to try being single because we dated so long. She tells me that she thinks we will go out again sometimes, and tells me that she doesn't go out and make out other with guys because she loves me and knows that I won't like, and possibly be upset (I know this is true because she is honest with me, and is prudish so she doesn't go out and hook up with other guys).

I'm going to college in September, but I'm staying here in New York City, so I'm still going to see her as she finished her senior year. I know that once college starts I will be able to meet other people so I won't have this problem as much, but what should I do about talking to her and trying to get with her? I don't know any other girls so it's hard to get her off my mind, and I don't like going to clubs and doing that whole thing. And it will probably take some time before I meet people in college, so I'm afraid I'll still need to go to her. What do you recommend I do? Should I keep on talking to her and still try to get close with her, or is it better to try to move on and try to forget about this whole sitatuon?

I appreciate your advice, although it always sounds easier than it actually is. I want to get with her in a physical sense, but we are also best friends, so don't think this is all about just getting her into bed and banging her.

last thought: This year she became very involved in her studies and became a nerd (not in a bad way). But what is bad is that she has started nerdy guys, and since we dated so long I find it hard to not take it personally if she was to hook up with some guy, especially a nerdy one, especially since I don't like her friends. I'm more of a computer/musician type, so this isn't too good for me, but we have history, so maybe we can look past this fact...Also, she always encourages me to go out and get other girls because she wants to me to be happy.

ah, so much typing...

06-15-2003, 01:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
blackdas Crazy	What to do about Ex-GF and best friend? Let me just get to the point...I dated my ex for 2.5 five years, and we decided to call it off a few months ago (I was a hs senior, and she was junior). We are best friends, but we don't really see each other much. Every night we basically go with our respective groups of friends, except for maybe one or two nights a week where we go out to dinner together. We still do some bf/gf touching, so at times I feel like we are still going out. But anyway, I still want to date her but she doesn't want to. She loves me a lot, and I know she does, but she wants to try being single because we dated so long. She tells me that she thinks we will go out again sometimes, and tells me that she doesn't go out and make out other with guys because she loves me and knows that I won't like, and possibly be upset (I know this is true because she is honest with me, and is prudish so she doesn't go out and hook up with other guys). I'm going to college in September, but I'm staying here in New York City, so I'm still going to see her as she finished her senior year. I know that once college starts I will be able to meet other people so I won't have this problem as much, but what should I do about talking to her and trying to get with her? I don't know any other girls so it's hard to get her off my mind, and I don't like going to clubs and doing that whole thing. And it will probably take some time before I meet people in college, so I'm afraid I'll still need to go to her. What do you recommend I do? Should I keep on talking to her and still try to get close with her, or is it better to try to move on and try to forget about this whole sitatuon? I appreciate your advice, although it always sounds easier than it actually is. I want to get with her in a physical sense, but we are also best friends, so don't think this is all about just getting her into bed and banging her. last thought: This year she became very involved in her studies and became a nerd (not in a bad way). But what is bad is that she has started nerdy guys, and since we dated so long I find it hard to not take it personally if she was to hook up with some guy, especially a nerdy one, especially since I don't like her friends. I'm more of a computer/musician type, so this isn't too good for me, but we have history, so maybe we can look past this fact...Also, she always encourages me to go out and get other girls because she wants to me to be happy. ah, so much typing...