Thread: Gravedressing
View Single Post
Old 07-23-2010, 01:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
Monolith
Upright
 
Monolith's Avatar
 
Location: Kabul
wow i dont know where to start with this one...

i'm a divorcee as well and after listening to some of the others i guess i can get this off my chest as well. Wierd that each and every time i talk about it i feel "relieved". So i guess with my divorce it was more of the i felt like i saw the commercial, thought i was getting something for less then i bargained for and wind up paying for it all in the end.

its wierd thought because even now after some 6 months into the aftermath of the actual divorce. She's still pulling strings. and i'm still trying to cut them all. Its wierd thought i feel like when i look back i was being set up for failure in this divorce. but now its more like the "signs" were so bright to my good friends and family its not funny.

And in a lot of ways i still blame myself for how things went. I shouldn't of gotten married to someone and then worked overseas. I should of communicated more and been less accepting.

i feel like i'm still going thru it even though its supposed to be over. i have the house but now that i have a renter i feel homeless. even thought my brother, uncle, relatives, all have said repeatedly.. come here. your welcome here. you don't have to wander. you don't have to stay working overseas if you dont want to trying to because of how the divorce went to make ends meat.

so the end all be all i think which was part of her plan. was she told me she cheated on me after i just returned from Iraq. that hurt. and still i was numb to it. There was a couple of close calls i feel like i had overseas and her affection and just being there i was craving the most. then there was her outcry at my brothers wedding. I shouldnt' of let her go but i couldnt' of foreseen her acting like that.

even just a week ago... after getting some emotion back towards her. I got this message that she never cheated on me. she just wanted to see my reaction.
i can't tell truth or lie anymore but then again i cant care anymore.

did that elaborate enough? lol
Monolith is offline  
 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360