|
Jealous of older sister
This has been plaguing me my entire life. I'm going on 31, and I still have yet to get over my jealousy of my sister. Growing up, she was a bit smarter, a lot more athletic, and all the way around more confident. It's like she came out the womb with this unwavering confidence that I've had to work at getting my entire adult life, and even yet I'm still not all the way there some days. And also, men that I've had crushes on chose to date her, and some men that I dated, mostly in high school, ended up having crushes on her. We look similar, although I'm lankier and taller than she and also have lighter eyes and hair. I know I'm a smart, beautiful, independent woman, but the jealousy always seems to happen the most when I'm dating someone new and they've met her. We act, sound and are very similar in some behaviors as we were raised by the same parents. And because we're so close in age, a little under 2 years apart, it just adds all the more.
She's married now and has a little baby boy which I'm very happy for her and am not jealous of the baby, the marriage maybe slightly because I want someone to have to share my life with. But I feel sometimes ashamed of my jealousy and that it's misplaced and shouldn't be there at all. Have any of you ever experienced something similar? And any advice is very much welcomed.
|