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I've got the same problem. I was 34 the first time I had sex. 22 years of masturbation, major anxiety issues, low self esteem, and psoriasis. Never mind moderately overweight and out of shape.
It's a year later, I'm on lexapro from the anxiety, humira for the psoriasis, still overweight but in slightly better shape. I also have a fiancee. I've had maybe 7 orgasms from sex over the last year. I really have to work for them and I've never had one with a condom. The condom part isn't that big a deal as her getting pregnant isn't really a bad thing.
Then again, subconsciously, I'm not really sure if I want her to get pregnant and if that's a factor in my performance. I've cut back my masturbation by about 90%, started eating better (kinda) and I get more exercise than I used to.
Erections are a bit erratic, ranging from unable to get it up, getting it, but not able to keep it, to an hour of pounding with no climax.
Fortunately, my fiancee is very understanding and is helping me work through the issues. But it seems like as soon as one thing is solved, something else becomes a problem. I've got some levitra, but I've been reluctant to try it. The urologist I talked to gave it to me in kinda of an off hand manner, along the lines of "fuck if I know what's wrong, try this."
Only thing I have really learned so far it that this isn't going to be a quick or simple fix for me.
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