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It's funny too because it depends so much on who you are with. My group of friends includes many gay, queer, bi, etc. people as well as straight folks and amongst us we can get pretty loose with language. We will joke that something is "gay" or how a gay friend is being especially effeminate but its all understood to be inoffensive. But this is only OK because we all know each other and that everyone in the group is completely ok with everyone's sexual orientation.
I would never, ever make a "that's so gay" joke, or joke around about being "gay for X" if I was with people whose views about these topics were unknown to me. Amongst friends, it's all ironic and teasing, but who knows how someone else will perceive it? If a stranger started making those jokes around me I'd probably assume they were homophobic and not that they were so queer friendly that they were joking ironically.
Incidentally, it's the same things with my Jewishness - my friends and I joke all the time about me being a penny pincher or whatever but I'd be on guard if a stranger made the same joke.
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