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It's all about in-group vs out-group. If you're in-group you're allowed to use certain terminology with little repercussion, but if you're out-group its a sign that you're ignorant of the separation or deliberately antagonizing.
It's just like nicknames. If you know someone well enough to call them by a nick name, it's fine. But if some random person hears it and tries to use it, it's awkward at best. If you're "in-group" with someone, it's probably fine to call them a nigga or a dyke or a fag or their nickname. You know whether they'd be offended. But in all cases, none should be used in conversation not directly involving that person.
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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel
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