Quote:
Originally Posted by Hektore
Ask her to be more precise than 'you're not there for me'. Specific, concrete examples would help everyone (including yourself) to understand what she means by that, because as it stands 'you're not there for me' is just a meaningless phrase.
Words of wisdom: When/if you ask her to define the contexts in which she feels abandoned do not attempt to defend yourself. If you do, it's the same as telling her that her feelings are invalid or incorrect (which you may feel they are) and will not help your relationship.
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I have asked for the contexts in which she feels abandoned and she says she "doesn't know" -- she says it's been happening since the beginning. I've been nothing but constructive about the whole thing; I always open the discussion, I always try to talk with her until we come to something, and it's always better after the fact. This is the longest she's been upset with me in a long time.
She says "if I feel like I can't come to you when I'm having problems, then this isn't going to work"
what the hell do I do? how do I open up and make her feel warm and welcome? my way of doing it doesn't seem to be working.