Quote:
Originally Posted by ratbastid
"She's Upset Again" is the name of my Dresden Dolls cover band.
|
That's my man
ratbastid, I'm surprised you didn't chime in and say "that was my wife 10 years ago."
I remember one time...I was feeling really stressed about work - traveling about once every 2 weeks, taking on more responsibility - and I was still dealing with a lot of anxiety. I was in Florida for a conference when a huge ice storm hit NC and our power went out. Ratbastid was home by himself, and it was a little miserable - sleeping by the fireplace, cooking on the grill. But he was supposed to be leaving for a trip for a weekend seminar the day I was coming home, and I just flipped out that he was still planning to go on the trip and leaving me home with all the pets and no electricity and my anxiety and missing him....basically I was a big baby, but I remember being beyond upset and saying "do you even WANT to be married?!" and it sounds like the same kind of questioning of commitment that you're getting from your girlfriend. I'm SO not defending my self-centeredness, but I felt like his concerns were more important than mine, that he wasn't taking care of me and my stress (which I know now are mine to take care of) and he was being a big child (pot/kettle/black).
Anyhow, it might be that she sees herself working long hours at a job she hates and coming home to someone with no concerns and no responsibilities. It may not be a fair assessment - I don't know whether you pick up the slack at home or not, whether you actively do things to help her feel less stressed and more like she has a partner than a roommate or a child. She may be being unfair, but she may just be responding to what she sees as your unwillingness to be the kind of committed partner she wants and needs.
And I might totally be projecting based on my own experience. But as others have said, it couldn't hurt to ask! She might not even know what she really wants, but you'll never find out guessing from across the room.