Ok, I can understand why you'd feel alone. But why do you feel dirty? Shouldn't it be fun? Am I the only one here who sees nothing morally wrong with getting off on memories? Someone you've been with, who was wonderful and different, but for whatever reason you weren't truly compatable and you ended up breaking up. Now you've moved on to other things in life and you wouldn't want to be with them anyway, but at least you can hold onto the fantasy. In fact, it may be an even more effective fantasy than others would provide simply because of its impossible nature.
Then again, maybe this range of emotions comes about only after you've moved on. There is an aspect of letting go that you seem to be missing somehow.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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