Ok, so I'm up early as ever doing something I haven't done in several months
1. Wake up at 4 am after dreaming about my ex (she was looking good as ever)
2. Feel an intense urge to jack off to pictures of her
3. Dig around online to find pictures of her to jack off to
4. Rub one out
I know, pretty creepy... She dumped me several years ago, and things have improved since then (in terms of my obsession with her), but it still lingers. She was and still is by far the most sexually attractive girl I've ever dated, and I think that's what's keeping my obsession going.
I try to discipline myself not to think of her, but I always come back eventually like a raging addict. Whenever I do what I described in the above steps, my heart is racing and I'm almost shaking with excitement. Afterward, I feel satisfied, but very dirty and alone.
As you can see in the chart above, I'm doing a lot better than before, but I've sort of leveled out for the past year or so. Is it going to go down any more or am I going to be stuck here for the rest of my life?