Quote:
Originally Posted by levite
Nobody just passively "is" damaged goods. One chooses to become so by succumbing to negative emotions, refusing to confront oneself and one's own past, and by not learning and becoming wiser from one's suffering. Everyone, regardless of what has happened to them, regardless of their past choices, regardless of the choices of others, has the power to become a strong, competent, balanced individual. But it takes work, and courage.
|
And
time. The number one thing that most people who have not and even many people who have been abused keep misunderstanding is that some things just take time. Not everyone can just bounce right back from abuse, some people take years and there's nothing wrong with that as long as they genuinely are working on it.
I think the most damage after an abusive relationship really comes from the people that are reasonable in every other way... except that they somehow expect the person to move faster. It undermines the entire healing process when people start demanding you just "get better", like it's some sort of level requirement you can grind for in Warcraft.