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Everyone has traumas of some kind, in some degree, in their lives. Merely having suffered a trauma, or been abused, or had poor judgment about someone does not at all mean you are, by definition, damaged goods.
But any person who, having had trauma, abuse, or experienced the results of their own poor judgment about someone, and then has become consumed by the negative emotions (fear, anger, resentment, guilt, etc.) that those experiences generated, and does not deal with them-- either on one's own via introspection and meditation and such, or in therapy, or by processing with friends, or whatever-- that person is, IMO, damaged goods. Male or female, makes no difference. But until they get a handle on their shit, I would not want to be in a relationship with them.
Nobody just passively "is" damaged goods. One chooses to become so by succumbing to negative emotions, refusing to confront oneself and one's own past, and by not learning and becoming wiser from one's suffering. Everyone, regardless of what has happened to them, regardless of their past choices, regardless of the choices of others, has the power to become a strong, competent, balanced individual. But it takes work, and courage.
The important thing to remember is that, ultimately, nobody can make you a victim. Your ex was a scumbag. He may have hit you, verbally abused you, done his damnedest to demean you. But now that you are free of him, only you can decide whether what he did in the past can continue to affect you. If you say it can, then you are a victim. If you say you will not permit it to do so, you are nobody's victim. And if you're nobody's victim, then you are most certainly not damaged goods.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.
(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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