Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Losing girlfriend for not wanting children

Cimarron29414 · 04-07-2010, 12:09 PM

It's a pretty small snapshot of a massive question, so I don't have anything to offer other than my own experiences.

My wife and I were not going to have children. We were travelling all over Europe and we had great hobbies, great dining...generally a very fulfilling life. Over time, we realized that we had amassed all of this knowledge, love, and a life that was big enough to share. So, after some very gentle exploratory conversations, we realized that a child was the greatest adventure of them all. And we were right.

There is nothing greater than bringing a child into the world, raising it the way you want, and sharing the world through it's eyes. You've heard it a million times - it's different when it's yours. That is absolutely true. The greatest sound I have ever heard in my life is the "Daddy!" each time I return home. The love is indescribable.

I can read only a little of your personality out of your post, so I can't say whether you would be a great dad. I suspect that you might just have a lot of fear regarding committing to this woman and committing to a child. All I can say is that being a great spouse and father is a choice. If you want to be a great dad, you will be. If you put your marriage first and your children second you will be a great dad (no, i did not mistype that). Strong marriages create strong children. I suspect the woman you are with will be an incredible wife and an even better mom.

Yes, sometimes you go to Chuck-e-Cheese rather than Rinnaldo's. You'll probably go to Disneyworld instead of Istanbul. Yes, you sleep less and you clean up other people's poop more than you ever wanted to. But, you pass on a legacy. You strengthen your family. You build character, and you teach character. It's difficult, but it's absolutely worth it.

P.S. You also get to relive a childhood with the bankroll to match all your desires. Getting to play unabashedly every night with all the cool toys is so awesome. Anyone says anything, "Hey, I'm playing with my kid." Man, today's modern squirt guns are incredible! Teach charity early. Go to the store and pick one toy for your child and have your child pick out one toy for charity. This will help them count their blessings.

P.P.S. Someone move this to Tilted Life. Everyone knows having children is counter to sex! Not really. Well...

04-07-2010, 12:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
Cimarron29414 Still Free Location: comfortably perched at the top of the bell curve!	It's a pretty small snapshot of a massive question, so I don't have anything to offer other than my own experiences. My wife and I were not going to have children. We were travelling all over Europe and we had great hobbies, great dining...generally a very fulfilling life. Over time, we realized that we had amassed all of this knowledge, love, and a life that was big enough to share. So, after some very gentle exploratory conversations, we realized that a child was the greatest adventure of them all. And we were right. There is nothing greater than bringing a child into the world, raising it the way you want, and sharing the world through it's eyes. You've heard it a million times - it's different when it's yours. That is absolutely true. The greatest sound I have ever heard in my life is the "Daddy!" each time I return home. The love is indescribable. I can read only a little of your personality out of your post, so I can't say whether you would be a great dad. I suspect that you might just have a lot of fear regarding committing to this woman and committing to a child. All I can say is that being a great spouse and father is a choice. If you want to be a great dad, you will be. If you put your marriage first and your children second you will be a great dad (no, i did not mistype that). Strong marriages create strong children. I suspect the woman you are with will be an incredible wife and an even better mom. Yes, sometimes you go to Chuck-e-Cheese rather than Rinnaldo's. You'll probably go to Disneyworld instead of Istanbul. Yes, you sleep less and you clean up other people's poop more than you ever wanted to. But, you pass on a legacy. You strengthen your family. You build character, and you teach character. It's difficult, but it's absolutely worth it. P.S. You also get to relive a childhood with the bankroll to match all your desires. Getting to play unabashedly every night with all the cool toys is so awesome. Anyone says anything, "Hey, I'm playing with my kid." Man, today's modern squirt guns are incredible! Teach charity early. Go to the store and pick one toy for your child and have your child pick out one toy for charity. This will help them count their blessings. P.P.S. Someone move this to Tilted Life. Everyone knows having children is counter to sex! Not really. Well... __________________ Gives a man a halo, does mead. "Here lies The_Jazz: Killed by an ambitious, sparkly, pink butterfly." Last edited by Cimarron29414; 04-07-2010 at 12:18 PM..