Quote:
Originally Posted by beavstrokinoff
I'm 42yo, married, 3 kids, been at the same job since 1993 with a couple years off in the middle. Live in a small town where the population is about 30k within 100km radius but it's a fucking awesome place to live & I'm not about to move to a city. I'm 20% owner of the electrical enigineering company I work for that employs 35 people throughout the province. I'm supposed to put in 32 hours/week but rarely do. I've got a mortgauge with about $30k remaining on a $500k property. Pretty fucking sweet life really.
My wife is awesome, beautiful, talented, athletic, great mom, I love her lots like to hang out with her. However, my sex life sucks, I get it about twice/month, I've tried talking my wife into more frequency and more variety but it's pretty white bread. Lately I tried getting her to shave or at least trim some of her jungle of pubes to no avail. I try engaging her in conversation about it and she just shuts down and goes to sleep with no closure to any potential argument. I often feel like putting my feet up against her back and sending her off the bed.
I'm fucking hating my job. At work this month I've done about 10 hours of chargeable work and surfed the internet pretty much all the rest of the time. I chat a lot with strange women who I'd like nothing more than to fuck thier brains out. I've met one and fucked her a couple times and that was nice but I feel shitty about it. I'll probably keep fucking her cause it's one of the only things I'm enjoying lately other than riding my mt. bike fast down hill.
I'm realy tempted to say fuck it all and quit my job, get a divorce and go learn to surf/ski/mt bike and waste the next few years of my life living out of a van but I'm not sure that is such a good idea. Child support payments would soon clean me out & I'd have to work again. I'd also miss my kids.
So I'm kinda feeling lost and do not have a clue what the fuck I should do.
Anyone here have any similar experience or sage advice?
|
I'm probably a lot younger than you, and far less experienced in just about everything, but.. been with the girl for 4 years and I've faced similar circumstances myself.. circumstances where everything is great, but it's all shit for some reason. Even the girl is great, except for one or two issues, which really nuke the rest of everything else I'm doing..
A.) Not much sex, sex that's had is lame and uncomfortable
B.) Cheating
I'm beginning to realize that the only way a person like me is really ever going to be happy, is if I can maintain liquidity in my life. I like to change the entire concept of how I operate from time to time. Sometimes the decisions of whether to keep or not to keep elements of the old lifestyle are painful, nauseating in certain circumstances, but nevertheless must be made.
Move boldly, and without regret for any decisions you make. You only have one life here, and I dare say it isn't worth it to you to spend the majority of it wondering what the fuck else you could be doing besides submitting to the grueling torture of excessive disinterest, or regret.
The girl is the main thing to me.. I'm fairly certain I appreciate the idea of my girlfriend more so than my girlfriend herself. She's adorable and whatnot in my imagination, but in real life she's basically a scripted rag-doll that pesters the shit out of me relentlessly. It isn't until I make her sad/disappointed that I remember she's human at all, because you can't script tears, or maybe even that's fake too, fuck if I know, but when I'm focused on things like this, everything else about my life seems equally as worthless as my relationship with the girl.
Most importantly, you don't need to pay someone to listen to you try to piece together a phrase that will avidly describe how pissed off you are, and why. You need to sit down, have a good cigar, maybe a beer or two, and spend that time thinking about the individual value of everything in your life. How much does your wife mean to you? Why is she necessary? Could you live without her? Would you want to live without her? Would it be better if she was different? Would it be better if you had a wife that was not her? What qualities would you prefer your wife to exhibit most often?
For instance, a demand I place on anyone claiming to be my wife/girlfriend is -
You will have to cope with the fact that I am one crazy son of a bitch when it comes to outright determination, and will to complete something. During these periods, I won't think about you for one second, and you're going to have to be ok with that. If you make a habit of screaming at me while I'm working, I will leave you.