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EleqTrizi'T · 03-17-2010, 11:55 AM

Thanks for all the replies, everyone. I really really appreciate it.

First let me be clear. I was not asking if I should keep him as a friend. I never intended, or even thought of, defriending him. Like I said, we are close. One incident is not going to change that. Our families are close, his kids stay at my house, vice versa. We have the same motorcycle, we both bought camping trailers and go on vacations together. It goes on and on. We are close.

Since I posted this, he came over a second time to apologize again. I hope that is testimony to our relationship. And to him.

I think some of you read into my post things I didn't state. I tried to keep it short and yet even so, I was told by Roachboy I had "extraneous detail", so you know... Keep it short for the attention span, too short and people can only guess

In all the years I've known him, I've never said anything about his smoking to him. And even in this instance, it really wasn't about smoking, as much as he stated he couldn't afford something, and calling it a waste of money, that costs just 7% of his smoking budget. Cheapest CA pack $4 * 3 packs a day * 30 days. And that's conservative on price and packs per day.

I pointed out his heavy smoking because if anyone could sacrifice just 7% of their smokes for a month, it would be my neighbor. I pointed out his lack of previous attempts at weight loss and my own unsatisfactory attempts because it is hard on your own. I want him to come with me to the gym because a workout buddy makes all the difference in the world when self-motivation isn't doing it for you.

If a friend can't say, "hey man, I've tried this this and this, it didn't work for me, either. I found this though and it works, why don't you do it with me?" then who can? My real question was did I do it in the wrong way? I'm thinking I did. At least, under the circumstances of talking to his wife about the gym, him hurting with his rib, etc.

I just want to help. All I can really do now though is lead my example and hope he thinks "Wow, if I had joined him when he asked me to I could be where he's at, too". Because I'm not going to talk to him about it anymore unless he brings it up.

03-17-2010, 11:55 AM	#27 (permalink)
EleqTrizi'T Insane	Thanks for all the replies, everyone. I really really appreciate it. First let me be clear. I was not asking if I should keep him as a friend. I never intended, or even thought of, defriending him. Like I said, we are close. One incident is not going to change that. Our families are close, his kids stay at my house, vice versa. We have the same motorcycle, we both bought camping trailers and go on vacations together. It goes on and on. We are close. Since I posted this, he came over a second time to apologize again. I hope that is testimony to our relationship. And to him. I think some of you read into my post things I didn't state. I tried to keep it short and yet even so, I was told by Roachboy I had "extraneous detail", so you know... Keep it short for the attention span, too short and people can only guess In all the years I've known him, I've never said anything about his smoking to him. And even in this instance, it really wasn't about smoking, as much as he stated he couldn't afford something, and calling it a waste of money, that costs just 7% of his smoking budget. Cheapest CA pack $4 * 3 packs a day * 30 days. And that's conservative on price and packs per day. I pointed out his heavy smoking because if anyone could sacrifice just 7% of their smokes for a month, it would be my neighbor. I pointed out his lack of previous attempts at weight loss and my own unsatisfactory attempts because it is hard on your own. I want him to come with me to the gym because a workout buddy makes all the difference in the world when self-motivation isn't doing it for you. If a friend can't say, "hey man, I've tried this this and this, it didn't work for me, either. I found this though and it works, why don't you do it with me?" then who can? My real question was did I do it in the wrong way? I'm thinking I did. At least, under the circumstances of talking to his wife about the gym, him hurting with his rib, etc. I just want to help. All I can really do now though is lead my example and hope he thinks "Wow, if I had joined him when he asked me to I could be where he's at, too". Because I'm not going to talk to him about it anymore unless he brings it up.