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As an ex-cigarette smoker:
I can understand a bit of sensitivity about smoking. It is a lifestyle choice, whether you agree with it or not, and smokers get shit on pretty heavily for it. That said, his reaction was way over the top. I've been known to tell people to drop it, but to freak out at the first mention of his habit is... extreme, to say the least.
You're wrong about one thing, though. If he's going to change, he's going to have to do it on his own. You're right that he probably won't, but if he doesn't you can't do it for him. That narrows your options down to accepting him as he is, or walking away.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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