Quote:
Originally Posted by lagoonguy
How old are you guys? I think age plays a factor here. I myself am 37, and all of my single 30 something friends kind of have an idea that the occasional drunken (or what it sounds like with Karen, some other 'enhancement') hookup happens. For example, my friend Kaye and I are very close friends, and i've met a lot of girls through her (in this example, Susan). Well, after a night of drinking with Susan and some others, i ended up at Susan's place... First we were just chilling, then started making out, and i was the one that said 'we can't have sex' --- and Susan actually said 'don't be a boy'.... then she said 'you know, we can NEVER let Kaye know we've fooled around' - and I said 'well, i don't want sex to fuck anything up' and again she said 'stop being afraid' ---- so we had sex. And it was fine. the next day we had a few texts back and forth, but that was it. It was kind of an understanding that it was a casual thing... especially since she, Kaye, and our circle are all close. But I think we've got the maturity (if that's the right word) of being mid to late 30s, and can understand that casual sex can be just that, as long as it's understood to begin with.
Now, if you guys are early 20s, I think a girl throwing sex around is more of an attempt to get you, or get approval from you, or something like that. Of course I'm not saying i'm the wise man because i'm in my 30s, but I certainly recognize there is a difference between how it is now, and how it was for me 15 years ago.
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I just turned 30, Will I believe is 28 as is Karen. I agree with everything you said and feel the same way, sometimes things just happen and in the end you just walk away. There is no need for two adults to mess up a good friendship because alcohol and libido got the best of you for a night.
However I do think some people for better or worse have sex, love and emotion wrapped so tightly together they can't or won't separate casual sex and...what would be the proper term? Real sex, Relationship sex? In the end you wind up with one person being perfectly fine with it just being casual and another who thinks its the beginning of something special no matter what the circumstances or age. I think these are usually the people who want you there the next morning or expect phone calls and further dates even when it was perfectly clear it was only a one night thing.
I think someone like Karen sits on the other end of the spectrum and uses casual sex to fill some sort of hole in her life. The problem is as much as she wants it to be just casual sex her emotions are all still all wrapped up in it and she feeds off the reactions and attention she gets. In other words its not so much about the sex as getting respect, acceptance or approval and if sex doesn't fulfill that for whatever reason she keeps going to the next step until she gets it. I don't know if either example is really based on maturity or if its just something that is part of who that person is and will always exist in them to some extent.