Quote:
Originally Posted by Vigilante
Personally, I would have a chat next time you are alone with him and explain that the sex was great, but it's time to let that go because you don't want to ruin a friendship. Keep hanging with him and the others like before and don't worry about catching his eye etc. In fact if he tries to catch your eye you should probably ignore that as well. This is assuming you want to try (key word is "try") to go back to the way things were. If he gives you flack later, tell him to man up and keep the deal, and if he's got any decency, he'll get it and shut up.
That's my take on that situation. Take it or leave it  |
Yeah I definitely want things to go back to how they were, however, the damage may already be done and things will never be the same, which leads me to think that we should just keep hooking up cause we already have (against my better judgment). I figure there will be a few weeks before I see him again, and i'll try to gauge the interaction between us and go from there - in case i'm being way too over analytic of the situation as well.
---------- Post added at 01:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:20 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cimarron29414
While your attempt at sounding like you are just totally okay with this arrangement, it doesn't take much reading between the lines that you aren't. If I can detect that in your writing, I would imagine your tone and body language is just screaming "needy, clingy" to this guy. Follow Vigilante's advice, it's your best shot. And never, EVER, give one guy in a group of guy friends the "friends with benefits" arrangement. You have to arrange that outside your circle of true friends.
Frankly, you sound like you want a boyfriend, more than you are willing to admit. There's nothing wrong with wanting a boyfriend, BTW. It's quite normal.
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See, i'm so indecisive and unstable that I really don't want a boyfriend - for fear of commitment and fear of my actions causing pain in someone else. I'm only 20 years old so I feel as though I need to not only figure my shit out but also have fun and play the field before I can put all my eggs in one basket. I think I do come off as needy of attention and affection though, unfortunately. I just want to feel wanted & get laid, basically.
And yes, I should have thought to not give anyone within my close knit group of friends the benefits type of relationship, however, the damage is done i'm afraid, and everyone knows about it, so our interactions from here on out will never be the same :/
lesson learned, I suppose.
---------- Post added at 01:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:28 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Plan9
Don't fuck where you hang out. They'll just sniff each other's fingers behind your back and tell nasty stories when you piss them off.
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Yes, I agree, however, I am pretty positive that these guys would not tell nasty stories behind my back whenever I piss them off. Maybe talk about what I did and how it pissed them off, but not put my personal stuff on blast like that.b At least they better not!
