so I have a very close knit group of guy friends that I spend most of my time with. There are a couple of other girls that are part of said group also, and then of course the outsiders that we bring out with us in hopes she's gonna bone one of the guys.
That being said, although I am treated as one of the guys, i'm pretty sure that some of them harbor urges to bang me. This isn't a conceited thought, just something I pick up on by the way they interact with me sometimes. But it doesn't get in the way of us all having a good time, and they can still enjoy my company even though they know there's no dice i'm sleeping with them, if that makes sense.
Well, there are a few of these guys whom I separate into a different category that I like to call my "best bros", and the others whom I definitely still care about and think of as friends, but just not on the same level. The ones I am closer with I am willing to do just about anything for. They're the guys I call just to tell them something funny and random, buy and/or make food for if i'm feeling particularly domesticated, and the ones I will go out of my way to help and do things for.
I first started hanging out with these guys in the summer of 07 and these relationships built themselves pretty quickly. Just recently, after never being sexually attracted to any guy in this group, I decided I was kind of really hot for one of them. Not one of the "best bros", however, those guys are his best friends as well. So I guess by association we would hang out on a pretty regular basis. We interacted and what not, but he was pretty quiet and I was more outspoken and interactive with everyone else, so I suppose he was a part of all of that by being there. Being a spectator to my shenanigans, if you will.
Well, that has all changed now as we have started to hook up. We have had the discussion that we do not want any sort of significant other, and just wanna fuck around. So that deals all squared away, however, I have noticed that things have changed with him.
I believe that this change is particularly my fault because I immediately tried to treat him like one of my "best bros" ( I mean, they are all his best friend too, so it felt natural I guess?) and began to reach out and interact with him on a social basis outside of when we see each other at our random gatherings. I was in no way overbearing and just texting him just to say "hey" or anything like that, but just... random fun things like I do the bros, or when I needed help from him procuring various contraband. Now I realize that probably wasn't the best idea, because he seemed indifferent to my contact, like it made him uncomfortable that I did this. Understandable, and I have since backed off.
Where the change comes in is with his personality. In the many times we spent around each other he definite gave me the vibe of the quiet nice guy. The night we were having the discussion about how we don't want to date, I agreed but decided to probe further and see what it is exactly about me he doesn't like enough to want to seriously date. The conversation went a little something like this:
"am I not hot enough for you?"
"no, you're sexy as shit"
"not a big fan of my personality?"
"no, you're cool as shit too"
"so, what exactly is it?"
with the last question he starts to get a little vague, saying that he has his own thing going on at college. So, there's another girl that he does want to pursue something further with, right? wrong. no other girl. (later on one of our bros offered the insight that he's just trying to bed as many chicks as possible, which is cool.) I forget most of the details that followed this, however, I remember me telling him that I thought he was one of the nicest guys i've met, to which he replied "i'm not exactly the nicest guy ever". I chose to brush that off because he had never given me one reason to think my view of him was wrong.
Now, fast forward a couple of weeks. Our friends and I were all partying in his house when a guy slices his hand open pretty badly after slipping on his floor. While he went to go to the bathroom with the guy to assess the injury and clean up blood, I took the nearby swiffer and began to try and collect the glass from the bottle into one pile so that no one else would get all cut the fuck up. When he emerges from the bathroom he spots me swiffering up what he assumed to be the giant liquid mess around the glass, to which he snapped "That isn't going to help!". When I informed him that I was collecting glass, he was like, ohh ohh alright. I was still agitated at the way he snapped at me, but I got over that pretty quickly seeing as he had a giant mess on his hands. Later on that evening, however, he became short with me again when I was inquiring about where my car had been parked after the latest liquor store run that I did not participate in. He was like "relax its over there" again, in a short tone that he had never spoken to me in before.
The next afternoon I was in a room with he and his roommate while they're playing video games, when during a conversation his roomie exclaims that he's one of the most "misogynistic a-holes" he's ever met. I chose to not inquire further but I did catch his eye real quick before he looked away. When I got back home I called up one of the bros, whom have known him since high school and possibly earlier, and began talking about the night, to which I said "I used to think he was so nice, but I guess he's kind of a dick" our bro informed that he is in fact, not a dick, and that he's about to go up to his school and "knock him down a few pegs."
So, after that novel of an entry, what do you guys think? that he's trying to prove a point that he's not some nice guy I can push around by acting like this towards me all of a sudden, or does he have a persona up at school that is different and those of us back home do not know of it?
oh, and when we bang, he's not cold and demeaning or anything like that, but playful and willing to fool around and have fun with it. I just don't know if we should continue doing this if he really is a "misogynistic a-hole" because i'm not down with being dicked around, if that makes sense.
please, lend me your insight
