Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - AAAAARGH! Family Drama! I go back to Czech Republic!

Slims · 11-15-2009, 01:22 PM

Why not? If she is cold, hungry and wants a place to sleep, she can at least agree to the above conditions.

But yeah, I do see how she may feel she is being treated like a child, especially because treating her like an adult has worked out so well. But how does what she 'likes' have anything to do with it? She likes destructive things. There is no reason the Dunedain should be obligated to support self-destructive behavior, especially when it comes at great expense to himself and his family.

As long as she is a guest in their home, she can abide by whatever rules are laid down. No different than staying at a friends house...you can either comply with his wishes or leave. There is nothing unreasonable about that.

Incidentally, I also agree that she needs professional help, but there is no way Dunedain can get enough traction or influence over her to convince her to go unless he can start to break that cycle at least a little bit. Hence the last rule I posted. The others are intended to keep her in a condition such that she is actually able to attend said counseling, etc. If she is out all night partying and has a wicked hang-over, the odds of her 1: helping out and being in any kind of shape to work the next day or 2: actually getting up and attending counseling, are slim to none.

We treat children like 'children' because it allows us to maintain a degree of control and influence over someone whom we are trying to guide into adulthood and a productive life...it is just as appropriate for an adult who is acting like a child, complete with poor decisions and dependence on others.

Homeless Shelters across the country enact similar rules...because it is the only way they can help maintain order and give self-destructive people a few hours of piece. Sure, some people won't go due to those rules, but many do and they get a good nights rest, food, and a chance to sober up long enough to have an opportunity to start making good decisions...the rest is up to the individual.

Xerxys: Since you are so quick to disparage my suggestions (and may be completely correct to do so), how do you suggest The Dunedain get the professional help you spoke of for his sister, pay for it, convince her to go, and do so without destroying the rest of his family or treating her like a teenager? Also, do you think it will have any effect?

I fully support criticism, but if you are going to state something won't work, then please state what will.

11-15-2009, 01:22 PM	#14 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Why not? If she is cold, hungry and wants a place to sleep, she can at least agree to the above conditions. But yeah, I do see how she may feel she is being treated like a child, especially because treating her like an adult has worked out so well. But how does what she 'likes' have anything to do with it? She likes destructive things. There is no reason the Dunedain should be obligated to support self-destructive behavior, especially when it comes at great expense to himself and his family. As long as she is a guest in their home, she can abide by whatever rules are laid down. No different than staying at a friends house...you can either comply with his wishes or leave. There is nothing unreasonable about that. Incidentally, I also agree that she needs professional help, but there is no way Dunedain can get enough traction or influence over her to convince her to go unless he can start to break that cycle at least a little bit. Hence the last rule I posted. The others are intended to keep her in a condition such that she is actually able to attend said counseling, etc. If she is out all night partying and has a wicked hang-over, the odds of her 1: helping out and being in any kind of shape to work the next day or 2: actually getting up and attending counseling, are slim to none. We treat children like 'children' because it allows us to maintain a degree of control and influence over someone whom we are trying to guide into adulthood and a productive life...it is just as appropriate for an adult who is acting like a child, complete with poor decisions and dependence on others. Homeless Shelters across the country enact similar rules...because it is the only way they can help maintain order and give self-destructive people a few hours of piece. Sure, some people won't go due to those rules, but many do and they get a good nights rest, food, and a chance to sober up long enough to have an opportunity to start making good decisions...the rest is up to the individual. Xerxys: Since you are so quick to disparage my suggestions (and may be completely correct to do so), how do you suggest The Dunedain get the professional help you spoke of for his sister, pay for it, convince her to go, and do so without destroying the rest of his family or treating her like a teenager? Also, do you think it will have any effect? I fully support criticism, but if you are going to state something won't work, then please state what will. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence Last edited by Slims; 11-15-2009 at 01:34 PM..