The_Dunedan

OK folks, this is partly a rant and partly a request for advice.

First, a little background.

My family manufactures drama the way Catholics and Jews manufacture guilt. The central locus of this drama is my younger sister. This is the most selfish, immature, sensitive, easily-provoked, attention-whoring, self-obsessed, self-destructive, passive-aggressive, manipulative and dishonest person I've ever encountered. This includes lawyers, politicians, and used-car salesmen with bad comb-overs. Every single one of these traits approaches the point of sociopathy; zero empathy. I want what I want and I'll do whatever/whomever I have to in order to get it. The Ends justify The Means...for me. Everyone else needs to be nice to me and give me whatever I want, because I'm The Awesome. Over the course of the past decade, this person has been a prostitute, an addict to just about everything imaginable, a college drop-out at least twice, various kinds of a thief and fraud (everything from identity fraud to skipping out on $100,000 hospital bills incurred when her track-marks got infected), and probably every kind of a mooch and leech you can think of.

Her usual M.O. is to find some poor weak-minded fool, then make nice/sling pussy for as long as it takes to;
1: Move into, and then trash, his apartment,
2: Get a "job" which will allow her to come to work drunk/stoned/strung-out every day while only requiring a few hours per week of actual presence,
3: Lose said "job" for fucking things up while drunk, refusing to carry out her contractual obligations because they conflict with some newly-discovered religious/political/philosphical belief,
4: Go out, get slobbering-stupid drunk, fuck 6-12 of the guys friends and relatives,
5: Get pissed when he gets pissed that his "girlfriend" has trashed his domicile, lost her job, drunk all his drink, eaten all his food, smoked all his smoke, fucked half the zip-code, and is now demanding that he replace all of the above plus buy her a new computer/shoes/car,
6: Leave to go find some new slob to pull this on. When this doesn't work, she invariably tries to move home to pull the same shit on us (Madre, Padre, Grand-Pere, and my good self).

She's been doing this little routine, in cities all over the US and Canada, for ten years now. She has the impulse-control of a crank-addicted Mayfly and seems to think that other people exist in order to validate, excuse, and fix her horrifically bad decisions and their inevitable results.

Her most recent stay at home lasted for all of 5 months and followed a similar pattern.

1: Arrive. Spend 3-6 weeks being nice and agreeable, cleaning up after herself, and helping out. Sometimes she even manages to find a job.
2: Realize (again) that yes, life on a farm/business is WORK, and that she's expected to pull her own (allegedly adult) weight around here.
3: Realize that nobody's going to cut her any slack here because (duh!) we can't be bribed/bought with pussy, drugs, or platitudes we've heard 90-bajillion times already.
4: Demand that slack be cut, act resentful and resume passive-aggressive shit when slack isn't cut. Lie, manipulate, and steal her way through as much family food/drink/money/time/resources as possible while...
5: Start showing up for work drunk, partying all night with deeply questionable sketchball local idiots, and generally making a cunt of herself.
6: Demand that people stop giving her a hard time for doing things like passing out in the parking-lot, spilling Rum & Coke all over $20,000 worth of firearms, and nearly driving 4-wheelers into ponds while drunk. Likewise demand a "buy" on sleeping through her chores, taking 15-minute "roll your own smoke" breaks every 45 mins, and repeatedly dumping rolling tobacco/booze/food all over other people beds, work-spaces, and various common areas while inhebriated.
7: Get pissed when people don't quit expecting her to act like an adult, repeat Steps 4-6 as above, leaving in the middle of the night and abandoning 9 metric ass-tonnes of junk, garbage, clothes, old food, nd half-empty beer bottles, which -other- people then have to clean up. Liberally sprinkle Steps 4-7 with thinly-veiled threats of suicide.

And now, after all of this, repeated ad nauseum, ad infinitum over the past 10 years, she found some slob dumb enough to -marry- her...after 4 weeks of drinking together. When the feces contacted the rotary air impeller, as they always do, she elected (as usual) for the most self-destructive, passive-aggressive, self-aggrandizing stunt she could think of to attract the validation and freebies she thinks the world owes her: a melodramatic suicide attempt. Apparently this one (unlike the previous three) came close to working. The predictable result was that her husband (doubtless sick to death of Steps 2-5 in that first paragraph) told her to take her drama and bullshit and gethafuckout.

I am so sick of this endless drama and crap that I could puke. This has been more-or-less her "default mode" since she was 16. Now, my baby sis has some shit to deal with. She's got some physical issues which aren't very forgiving, in a lot of ways, and she and I didn't exactly have what you'd call a functional childhood. But her reaction to all of this, instead of trying to make things better, has been to wallow endlessly in the attitudes and mindsets of a spoiled early-teenage girl. She convinces people to finance the building of bridges, crosses those bridges, then BURNS those bridges...and then wonders where this water came from and why she can't walk across it. She uses people, exploits them, screws them every way she can...and then wonders why they don't want to fuck her, smoke her up, or buy her drinks anymore. If this woman could think up a way to convince herself that Newton's Laws of Motion didn't apply to her, she would spend years hurling herself out of trees and wondering why she kept breaking her leg in an attempt to fly; Gravity is for -other- people. She's been in and out of hospitals, loony-bins, and on various sorts of medication for this kind of shit since she was 17, and has been diagnosed with everything from Borderline Personality Disorder to borderline psychosis to simple everyday Incurable Bitch Syndrome.

And frankly, after 27 years of defending her, keeping her secrets, alibying her, justifying her, protecting her as best I can...I have run out of patience. I simply don't have the heart to keep doing this. I've spent my entire life wanting nothing but to be her big brother, to help her and protect her and God-forbid be allowed to love her...only to have it thrown back in my face and be abandoned. And now she's tried to abandon me AGAIN. This womanchild has stabbed me in the back so many times I've got scars on my scars. But I think I've finally run out of patience, for her and her self-serving bullshit. I've also decided that, to whatever extent I have been in the past, I am -done- with enabling her crap.

So my question to you, good people of the TFP, is this:

Have I flipped my shit here? Am I being unreasonable? Please; tell me if I am, because I want to help her anyway that I can. Unfortunately, she decided long ago that she was past help, and decided that instead of getting better the logical thing to do was simply to drink/fuck/smoke/inject/bridge-burn her way into an early grave; and yes, she's directly told me that, in so many words.

I don't want to resign myself to having to go down to some dismal mortuary and identify my baby sister. But I am rapidly reaching the conclusion that I may have no choice, because she's decided that she's going to end her days badly no matter what happens.

Some days I just want to move back to Prague...or maybe Mongolia...put a few "Rand McNally-scale" geographical features between myself and all this endless crap. But unlike my sister, I don't turn and run out, especially not on family.

So what, in y'all's opinion, are my options here? What can I do? Anything? Nothing? Hit me with the ideas, folks, 'cause I'm tapped out. Could use some insight and wisdom on this one.