Originally Posted by PonyPotato

Maybe I'm an idiot, but I see these two quotes as actually relatively intelligent/witty:

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to
spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Originally Posted by Plan9

She probably tastes like cheap beer and smells like a jockstrap.