hunnychile

Why Athletes can't have regular jobs


1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids
to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the
Raiders said:
"To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (Now that is
beautiful.)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You guys pair up in
groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to
spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what
time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle
or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January.)

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said,
'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told
a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford, "I can go to my left
or right, I am amphibious."
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soooooooo sad...these idiots make big bucks .r.

__________________
"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

Plan9

Aaah, the modern gladiator and his pearls of wisdom.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Let's hope kinesthetic intelligence is a real thing.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

PonyPotato

Maybe I'm an idiot, but I see these two quotes as actually relatively intelligent/witty:

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for
three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to
spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

The others, however.. bleh.

And why is "I wonder if his IQ reaches room temperature in January" derogatory? I'm sure that a professional athlete can afford to heat his house.. room temperature generally remains the same year-round. Ambient temperature, however...

I'm just being a difficult smartass.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Xerxys

I think it's a conspiracy ... I think they do it on purpose ... that by behaving really stupid no one can question your logic. It becomes unassailable.

uncle phil

i've met joe theismann and he's really not that dumb...really...

__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
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"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
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never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.

ZombieSquirrel

For anyone who has had a concussion after a game....#9 is actually pretty smart.

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Attack ZombieSquirrels

CinnamonGirl

I remember reading something about how Theismann went to school with a guy named Norman Einstein. Was an honest slip of the tongue, I guess.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

FuglyStick

Now that's just funny.

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AZIZ! LIGHT!

kramus

I'm willing to bet a goodly fraction of these quotes were purposefully handled. Protective colouration, sleight of tongue, low cunning . . . call it what you will these guys 1) get a chuckle out of folks berating their intelligence and acuity, and 2) they are professionals who always can use/create an edge.

Some of the others are just plain dumb, of course. We are not all universally and equally gifted in the same domains. After all, these guys make the big bucks being athletic and that is not all that common a way to earn a paycheque.

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And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca

new man

And no one points out the mispelling of "Heroes" in the thread title. I'm just saying.