You are not The Problem. It's all in the mindspin.
I'm getting two things here. One, that you want to know how to move on from an idea or feeling stuck in your head or heart. The other is perceived happiness, which you've equated with passion. Hopefully, I'm getting your vibe because it's a place I've been in one too many times myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thespian86
I'm just wondering when you lose something dear to you, and you recognize what exactly it was for you [or rather: open to it being what it needs to be], how do you continue with that knowledge. Where do I go from here.
|
If you recognize it and have difficulty with that knowledge, the mere fact that things haven't lived up to your expectation is what's giving you the hard time. It's so painful to let go of the way we see something, especially when we've been seeing it that way for a while. The realization that it was only an expectation might be tough at first, but may make it easier to deal with in the long run.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thespian86
A part of my problem is how fiercely I love the things I love. And my ability to love is something I really appreciate about myself. But it is certainly confusing; knowing what makes me happy [loving freely/passionately] but also knowing it leaves me feeling very disappointed. Part of that disappointment comes in my unrealistic idea of what the return on that love should be. But there is the split; shouldn't there be a return? even a small one?
|
I'm a lot like you, I think. This is what took me so many years to discover. It's the same loss. Those of us who love freely and passionately don't want to see harsh reality. Once a blissful relationship meets up with hurdles, we assume the passion will be enough to bond us together through anything. It's a terribly high expectation from someone whom with one's only experienced joy and passion. I believe that expectations are the big issue in any type of relationship. You can talk about communication and think you're on to perfection, but I've concluded that the expectations have to be reevaluated on a frequent basis just to be sure you're on the same page. If not, you may wake up one day, wondering why you're still waiting to be happy.
No matter what, it's still one day at a time. There's no other choice. Hang in there. You've got years to go.
