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loquitur · 10-08-2009, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Dear Prudence,
I am a married man in my 30s, and I have known for some time now that I am quite well-endowed. Though my past girlfriends and wife have been enthusiastic about it, my problem is with how my wife treats this personal information. She discusses my size quite openly with her friends, which I understand is part of her "girl talk." However, I recently found out that she told a female acquaintance whom she'd met for the first time! I am a fairly introverted person, and knowing that our friends have this information affects my social interaction with them. I have brought this issue up with her and asked her to tone it down, but her argument is that she is sharing something positive about me, and therefore it causes no harm. My wife and I have an otherwise stable and loving marriage, and I do not want this issue to be a bone of contention. How can I get my wife to stop broadcasting this? Or should I just accept it?

—Zipped Up

Dear Zipped,
Bone of contention, indeed. At least this isn't a version of the disappointing HBO series Hung, and she hasn't offered to become your pimp. I agree that your wife's blabbing to every woman of her acquaintance that you're packing is a violation of the sanctity your marriage, even if it doesn't rise to the level of making you want to pack your bags. She should realize it's actually contrary to her self-interest to advertise your asset so widely, since she's going to tantalize some women to want to join this members-only club. It's also awfully rigid of her to dismiss your complaint that you feel no one looks you in the face because everyone has their eyes on the prize. Since her boasting is not petering out, perhaps she will better understand your beef if you offer her an analogy. Ask her to imagine how she would feel if you started telling all the males you know that her nipples are irresistibly pert and perky. If she says that's nuts, and not the same thing at all, ask her to elucidate why not, since you, too, want to reveal something complimentary about her private parts. Tell her you wouldn't actually do this because such intimate facts belong to the married couple, not the world. And add that since she so values your endowment, if she wants it to grow, not shrink, she needs to protect it better.

—Prudi

So, what do people here think? Is this a vastly inappropriate subject for conversation? (Of course if the word is already out, might not make a difference, right Halx?

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