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Originally Posted by Xerxys
^^ If you didn't care so much why did you derail then? You've thrown around "responsible adult" so many times I feel it's meaning is lost on you. Why go through the trouble of raising children and making their life hard because "life is hard"? Seriously?! I understand if college ed is not for everyone and if it isn't then I guess the money can go into the retirement fund.
College education is not, however, "special treatment", not something that can be compared to privileges! What I got from your post is "because I am not legally bound to do so, I won't".
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Why do you consider not making someone's life easy the same as making it hard? When I someday have kids, I would like to help them out with college if possible. On the other hand, I feel absolutely no responsibility to do so. I'm with the people who grew up poor, and came to respect the effort and determination it takes to make it on your own. But then again, I would try to not raise my children with a sense of entitlement.
Say for example, that I am able to help with college, but my child decides to take courses in a career that I don't think is a good idea. What if I decided to pull the 'Do what I want, or I won't pay for your college' card? (not likely, but this is semi-hypothetical) I would honestly be really proud if my kid told me where to stick my college fund and did what they wanted on their own.
It's interesting that you used the word privilege.
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Originally Posted by Dictionary.com
priv⋅i⋅lege
–noun
1. a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most: the privileges of the very rich.
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Actually, it does seem to me like having someone else pay for your college is a privilege.
/Derail
I would say that when regarding a prospective partner, their history (whether it be credit or otherwise) is less important than who they are now. Current spending habits and sense of responsibility are much more important than things that may have happened in the past. Lots of people fuck up in one way or another, the question is what are they going to do about it now?
While I understand and semi-agree with those who said that bankruptcy is the irresponsible thing to do, I also understand that some people succumb to the crushing weight of financial hoplessness and will jump at a potential way out. I think a better person for someone you care about is to help them see a better way to fix things, rather than scorn them for taking the easy way out.