First the caveat, I'm not trained nor qualified medically to answer your questions.
However it appears that you have isolated the problems you are having without the benefit of professional help or drugs. You seem to have a good handle on your life and identifying what is going on.
All you have to do is take the next step. How can I achieve what I want and be the person I want to be in the reality I'm living in?
You are obviously an intelligent person, so now you need to look in a mirror and say to yourself, "I'm an achiever, not a receiver" Over and over and over. You are in control of what you feel and others are not allowed to control you. You can do what you want and you will not be a sponge soaking up the crap they sling your way.
Now learn the internal phrase, "fuck them". If you want to wear the green blouse with the purple skirt and it makes you happy then put it on and mutter under your breath, "fuck them, I like it and I'm wearing it, fuck them". You are allowed to be you, but no one is allowed to tell you how to be you. Fuck them.
Make a new friend and be different with him/her. Be who you want to be and don't worry about the consequences. Be you. Practice, refine and discover who you are and how you want to be as a person. If they don't like it, fuck them. Find a new friend.
You can get therapy, you can take drugs, you can pick apart who you are and what you want to be, but only you can make it happen. If you take drugs it won't be you.
I'm saying this because you already know the problems. Psychotropic drugs are not the answer. They don't make you who you are. They make those unable to cope, able to cope. You can cope, you just need to fight harder to be you and not let anyone stuff you into their way of thinking.
The difference here is you already know the problems. Most people who seek advice don't know why they feel or act the way they do.
Start small, put on the green blouse and purple skirt and fuck them. Their acceptance does not define who you are.
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