Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > The Academy > Tilted Life


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-27-2009, 08:38 AM   #1 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: New York
Tilted Therapy: I'm sharing my madness with strangers

My insecurities are holding me back---- keeping from enjoying my life. I am so self-conscious every second of every day that it consumes me. It has led to compulsive behavior and severe anxiety and depression. I want to feel liked by the people in my life so badly that I lose sight of what is best for me and I end up neglecting myself and my needs. I feel like the real me, the happy me that I used to be, rarely makes an appearance anymore. I really miss being her. I think the more I get hurt and denied, the farther out of reach she gets. I should be fighting to find her again, but instead I do the exact opposite. All of the negative thoughts and feelings about myself drive her farther away. I just want to start having confidence in, believing in & loving myself again. I want the negative thoughts to go away and I have no one that I can talk to about it. I have a number of wonderful people in my life, yet I feel so lonely because I don’t want them to know.

I wish I had health insurance. I don't know if what's going on with me can be helped without medication.
Nurse Betty is offline  
Old 09-27-2009, 08:54 AM   #2 (permalink)
Tilted Cat Head
 
Cynthetiq's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Manhattan, NY
For me, I write about my negative thoughts from time to time. It helps them get out of my head and elsewhere. Sometimes I read them again and think, "Gosh after the event that I was so worried and anxious about, nothing came of it. My fears never materialized."

We have a blog section, feel free to write in it, it's not scoured by google by default, though you can set it that way. It's a little more intimate community than the rest of the sections here.

re: therapy here in New York. I assume you are in NYC. If you are then there are many therapists here that accept sliding scale payments. You can check with NIP Graduate and Post-Graduate Training Program - Home and let them know you are interested in finding therapy with someone that accepts sliding scale.

As far as something you can do immediately, try contrary thinking. This entails you doing the opposite of what you want to or normally do. So if you want to do something for others at the expense of something for yourself, change that by doing something for yourself FIRST, then doing something for someone else.

good luck.
__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.
Cynthetiq is offline  
Old 09-27-2009, 03:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
Insane
 
Halanna's Avatar
 
Location: Over the rainbow . .
First the caveat, I'm not trained nor qualified medically to answer your questions.

However it appears that you have isolated the problems you are having without the benefit of professional help or drugs. You seem to have a good handle on your life and identifying what is going on.

All you have to do is take the next step. How can I achieve what I want and be the person I want to be in the reality I'm living in?

You are obviously an intelligent person, so now you need to look in a mirror and say to yourself, "I'm an achiever, not a receiver" Over and over and over. You are in control of what you feel and others are not allowed to control you. You can do what you want and you will not be a sponge soaking up the crap they sling your way.

Now learn the internal phrase, "fuck them". If you want to wear the green blouse with the purple skirt and it makes you happy then put it on and mutter under your breath, "fuck them, I like it and I'm wearing it, fuck them". You are allowed to be you, but no one is allowed to tell you how to be you. Fuck them.

Make a new friend and be different with him/her. Be who you want to be and don't worry about the consequences. Be you. Practice, refine and discover who you are and how you want to be as a person. If they don't like it, fuck them. Find a new friend.

You can get therapy, you can take drugs, you can pick apart who you are and what you want to be, but only you can make it happen. If you take drugs it won't be you.

I'm saying this because you already know the problems. Psychotropic drugs are not the answer. They don't make you who you are. They make those unable to cope, able to cope. You can cope, you just need to fight harder to be you and not let anyone stuff you into their way of thinking.

The difference here is you already know the problems. Most people who seek advice don't know why they feel or act the way they do.

Start small, put on the green blouse and purple skirt and fuck them. Their acceptance does not define who you are.
Halanna is offline  
Old 09-27-2009, 07:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: New York
Halanna:

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I will definitely try the "fuck them" mentality. When it comes to drugs I just wonder if there is something that will help me calm down, quiet the anxiety. Because of it... I have trouble even talking to people when it comes to speaking my mind, confrontations, job interviews, sticking up for myself...etc. I feel so overwhelmed by it and I'm not sure if it's normal or some sort of chemical imbalance. It's crippling in a way when my mouth goes dry and my heart palpitates and I feel almost hopped up on adrenaline and I freeze up and become introverted. I hate that I feel like I have no control over it.
Nurse Betty is offline  
Old 09-28-2009, 05:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
MSD
The sky calls to us ...
 
MSD's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: CT
What Halanna said is helpful, but a psychiatrist is qualified to evaluate and decide whether medication is necessary or if therapy alone can do it. What you're suggesting will probably come up in therapy in one form or another, but medication may be necessary. Psych drugs, when used properly, get you back to normal so you can go back to being yourself, or they help lift you out of a rut so you can face problems head-on. You can't just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and set yourself down on level ground.
MSD is offline  
 

Tags
madness, sharing, strangers, therapy, tilted

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 06:35 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360