Quote:
Originally Posted by little_tippler
Nienna, I'm happy for you that you were both able to talk it through and still decide to give it another chance. It takes courage from both of you to do that. I hope it works out.
As for your unhappiness, let me just say that, no matter how much you love him, please make sure the relationship is right for you. Sometimes no matter how much love you give to another, if they do not reciprocate, you are wasting your love on them. I'm not saying this is the case, but I would certainly be sad if my boyfriend did not even mention my birthday after 3 years together. Seems like an odd oversight on the one day per year that marks a person's coming into existence.
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We're not done talking. 4 years is a lot to go over and talk about. As for right now, we're taking it one day at a time. And I hope it works out too.
My happiness was one of the things I questioned the most. I had felt unhappy for sometime and we talked about it, but not much was done to change the things. And I still stayed in the relationship. However the straw that broke the camels back was my birthday. He didn't forget my birthday, he just didn't bother doing anything special for it. His excuse was he didn't "have time" to get me anything, not even a card, so I broke things off with him. I told him that I wasn't going to forfeit my happiness for anyone. He then did sweet things, which usually lasted less than a month, and things went back to "normal". So another month or two went by and I felt unhappy again, and would break things off. Again he would do sweet things for about a month....and so on and so forth. Regardless of what I told him, and how many times I told him what I needed from him (emotionally) I felt stuck in a vicious cycle that was leading nowhere. It came to the point that during sex I felt I had to force my emotions in order to get into it. And this is why I found myself cheating on him.
Now it's a matter of trying to figure out if I'm with him for the right reasons, and not because I feel guilty. I know I love him, I know I want to be with him, but I'm afraid that I'm stepping back into the cycle of 1 sweet happy month followed by 1-2 months of complacency.