Nienna

Sorry ladies for the delay in response. I want to make a correction, the on-again-off-again with my boyfriend has only been going on since November...then again in June (explanation below) I have read all your thoughts....so here goes

Yes. I have. And as someone stated, it was a void that wasn't being filled. And I was feeling this "void" for about over a year now.


There was and I did improvise, not in the best way. But even though I had open dialogue with my bf on various occasions, and told him what I needed in order to be "fulfilled" in the relationship, it was as though it fell on deaf ears

Thank you I feel as though I did do the right thing by telling him. Surprisngly enough it has opened more dialogue and we've analyzed the "cracks" in our relationship.

Not well. But certainly not as I expected. He was angry, and cried, as did I . I was a complete mess at work. Everyone kept asking me if I was alright. He couldn't believe I actually cheated on him. But at the end of the day, after work I went to go see him. Needless to say I was hysterical, and truly remorseful for what I had done. We spoke about it, how we were both hurt, and....he forgave me. I'm still trying to process it. It doesn't mean however that I feel it's ok and got away with it. I still feel guilty and cry about it. It was something that shouldn't have happened.

Believe me, he is more amazing than I imagined, and 100x a better person than I could ever be.

Exactly. And this is what we BOTH have taken from this. He understands that there was a void that wasn't being fulfilled, and I understand that I was taking him and our relationship for granted. I know some may not agree, but I think it's safe to say that in a way it was good that this happened (not trying to justify what was done in any way or saying it was okay) because it has allowed us to open up dialogue about our relationship. I stated before the same, but let me be a little more detailed....

My bf stated that he felt everything with the relationship was good. That I was never going to leave, and that everything he was doing was keeping me happy and he didn't feel he had to do more. I however have not felt "happy" for over a year now. So emotionally I was falling out of love. The point in our relationship that caused the biggest doubt was Nov. 2008 - my birthday. He didn't get me a gift or birthday card....nothing. (After 3, almost 4 years you would expect something. Even if it was "Happy Birthday Baby" written on piece of toilet paper it would have been just as meaningful as anything else.) But a couple of months before my birthday, I felt "unhappy" but stuck through it. Once the birthday incident passed, I truly questioned both his and my motivation for being in the relationship. So, in short, this isn't something that happened overnight.

Thankfully we've spoken about almost everything and have decided to continue our relationship. We both have learned not to take each other for granted, and have realized we need to work hard to maintain our relationship. Being in a relationship isn't a piece of cake. It will take work and above all love to keep it strong.

Sorry for the long winded response....but I want to thank you ladies for all your wonderful input


Zombie Squirrel....I really loved your thoughts and will respond to them tomorrow. I have much to say, but it's quite late now...

__________________
"in life there is only one thing i'm certain about, and it's that nothing is certain."