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Did you say anything in your marriage vows like "so long as I feel like it"? I don't think so. You say you've been married for thirteen years. Did it ever occur to you during that time that you and your wife needed to be friends?
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And if he just CAN'T? Is that fair to his wife? To go through life with a man that doesn't love her - doesn't care? Don't you think SHE deserves better than that?
Sometimes it JUST DOESN'T WORK. No-ones fault, everyone tried their best. Is it the "best" for these two people to stay in a meaningless relationship?
In the end it's between this man and his wife. Nothing WE say matters - just what htey feel, think, say and do.