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Generally speaking, I think that at least for me, genital contact is needed. I never had wet dreams as a youngster, probably because I spent all my free time jerking off, but I did once come in my pants, without any genital contact. I was fifteen, and though I wasn't a virgin, I was with the hottest girl I'd ever gone out with-- way, way hotter than I ever even expected to go out with-- and I was pleasantly surprised when she demanded that I kiss her. I guess I had a hair trigger, and while we were making out, I shot off. Thank God I was still young enough to stay totally hard, making for a successful evening afterward. But it did happen, at least that once.
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Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.
(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)
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