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Old 07-31-2009, 07:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
cellophanedeity
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While I don't have kids, I know what makes me feel better when I'm worrying about the way I look. I've been a bit self conscious since I was in elementary school, and I think the age keeps getting younger and younger.

Young girls really care what their parents think, but they don't want to hear it directly. Telling her that she's beautiful is good, but sometimes it's nice to be sly about the compliments and self esteem boosts.
Compliment a certain feature that you think is cute. Even if she gets frustrated with you for it, just let her know. A friend once told me he loves my (total ski-slope) nose and that it reminds him of pixies, and I've felt better about it ever since. Since she's worried about her complexion, perhaps mentioning something about it on a good day will help. "You have beautiful skin! Look at how pretty you glow!" or something like that. Address the issues she's presented on days when she's not feeling negative, and don't mention her negative feelings. Just keep the positive flowing,

If she's put together an outfit, compliment her on it. Showing approval of what she's wearing, and telling her she's pretty will help when she's not coming to you distressed. Don't let her dress like a tramp or anything, but even if it's a style you're not into, tell her she's funky or whatever will please her. Clothes are very important to girls, even when they're little.

While you think that she isn't exposed to teen magazines and the like, she probably sees them when she's with her friends. If you watch a movie together, maybe you could say things like "she'd be prettier if she weren't so skinny. Women don't need to be stick thin to be beautiful." Or something along those lines.

Good luck with her. Monitor her moods and health, and just make sure she knows that her mommy and daddy think she's beautiful and wonderful and good.
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