Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Ladies

Halanna · 07-28-2009, 04:37 PM

I would say that you probably are happy. Your life is full, but you are missing one puzzle piece. That piece hasn't been handed to you yet. Keep building . .

I'm not certain if your intense feelings are grief or longing for what you don't have . . . yet. It's worse if your friends around you are having babies or have young ones at home. You may feel left behind, or that you are behind in the reproduction cycle.

While it is true there is never an "ideal" time to have children, there is something to be said for self fulfillment prior to giving your life over to another life. That is what it is. Nothing you can do, career, money or love can prepare you to give over your life to raise another.

I don't think it's abnormal. Some women feel it intensely, some not so much.

At 26 you are still young. Assuming healthy, there is no reason to have children before you feel you are ready. If you do, it could cause resentment. Toward yourself, your partner, and on certain occasions, your child.

You will be hard pressed to reach the "ideal" time to have a child, home, insurance, savings etc etc. But when you have enough, what is enough for you and your partner, you'll know.

Hang in there. You are a natural teacher and natural nurturer.

I know it's easy for me to say, but . . . don't force it, do your thing, wait until it you're ready. Wanting and being ready are two different things.

07-28-2009, 04:37 PM	#19 (permalink)
Halanna Insane Location: Over the rainbow . .	I would say that you probably are happy. Your life is full, but you are missing one puzzle piece. That piece hasn't been handed to you yet. Keep building . . I'm not certain if your intense feelings are grief or longing for what you don't have . . . yet. It's worse if your friends around you are having babies or have young ones at home. You may feel left behind, or that you are behind in the reproduction cycle. While it is true there is never an "ideal" time to have children, there is something to be said for self fulfillment prior to giving your life over to another life. That is what it is. Nothing you can do, career, money or love can prepare you to give over your life to raise another. I don't think it's abnormal. Some women feel it intensely, some not so much. At 26 you are still young. Assuming healthy, there is no reason to have children before you feel you are ready. If you do, it could cause resentment. Toward yourself, your partner, and on certain occasions, your child. You will be hard pressed to reach the "ideal" time to have a child, home, insurance, savings etc etc. But when you have enough, what is enough for you and your partner, you'll know. Hang in there. You are a natural teacher and natural nurturer. I know it's easy for me to say, but . . . don't force it, do your thing, wait until it you're ready. Wanting and being ready are two different things.