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Thank you, Ladies for all of your thoughtful responses.
amonkie, it is good to hear that the feeling comes and goes. Perhaps surrounding myself with others who have no family is a good thing. I like your description, "the extreme heart/mind tug of war." This is precisely the way I feel.
Girldetective, thank you for leading me through some pertinent thoughts. I would like to get through school first. I would like to raise a family second. This is my plan, but I feel my biological clock is making me re-evalute this plan entirely too frequently. I assume you have gone through this yourself- I'd love to hear about your success.
Shell and Shesus - both of your responses are not something I anticipated from either of you. You are pushing the same points as my mother and sister. It is good for me to hear it from a source other than family. I realize now that my family is not as crazy out-there as I thought and that this is a rather common perspective -So I thank you for your words.
Acetylene,your response is awesome. It made me laugh and smile. One of my best friends recently adopted a welsh corgie for this reason - totally absorbs her time and energy, and she enjoys the companionship. Unfortunately at our current apartment we're not permitted to have dogs. I do have a rabbit, which I cuddle and train. Nowhere near the same loyalty or commmitment as a puppy - but it does get to a little of that itch.
Danigirl, thank you for saying, "don't feel obligated to have children." This is the first time I have ever been told this. I was raised LDS. You understand entirely what this means, though others likely do not so I will go into it... With my upbringing there was no room to entertain the thought of not having children. In high school I had that all-too-common brainwashed dream to marry immediately after my boyfriend returned from his mission, move to the middle of the forest somewhere in Utah, and raise 10+ kids. I didn't bother to break away from the culture until halfway through college. Every female that I gew up with at the LDS church is now one of the following 1) married with any number of children, 2) married and involuntarily sterile, or 3) single and hating it. Most of them married quite young and are overwhelmingly financially strapped - either dependent upon the church's bishop's storehouse for food or on WIC/foodstamps. Most of them live with extended family and have no education to speak of. A couple of them bothered to finish their bachelor's degrees and they now have gone into teaching or childcare. When I look at their lives, with which they appear quite happy, I realize all the more that it is not for me and I am glad that I stepped away. I've never bothered to picture my life without children. I think I will start to entertain those thoughts and see where it goes.
Cinnamongirl, how did you come to terms with the idea - what are the mental exercises involved? It seems like a difficult thing to do.
Little_Tippler, you said a lot here that is meaningful to me. But your words: " I think, I have a great life, good friends, I'm still young and there's a lot to do in life besides that," really stick with me. I need to make this my mantra. Thank you.
Settie, that sounds like a great place to be mentally. /jealous
Shaindra, thank you for your words. My husband and I will require medical intervention to have children. Hence my words "there just aren't any" in the OP. Shouldn't the fact that we're unable make it easier to not feel this pressure?
Nikki, it is good to hear that it changed your life so completely. It makes me want to be extra-certain before we plunge.
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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq
"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy
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