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I really felt the child urge kick in when EVERYONE I know around me is going through their first pregnancy. I am talking about the friends I was maid of honor for, people I have grown up and previously shared other similar milestones with.
I could shrug off the not getting married milestone - those weddings came and went several years ago. Instead, its the sense of community they all seem to get from the pregnancy experience initially, and then the continued bond with another human being. Right now in my almost constant state of loneliness, even with a dog for the last 3 years, I selfishly want that connection.
The fact that I've actually been single for as long as I have surprises me in some ways. I know I want things badly, and sometimes that makes you make not so smart choices. So the fact that I've made the right ones for me, despite the extreme heart/mind tug of war, hopefully will make the wait worth the while.
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
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