babaloo

No, I do not believe in my heart that I can ever work things out with my wife. We have grown but in different directions. I can't imagine being with her for the rest of my life.

Having said that though, the affair has been found out. It's been a hell of a rotten experience for all involved. We <b>were</b> selfish and acknowledged that at the time but to be faced by it hurts more. In a way I've betrayed myself by not being true to my own value system. No, there wasn't anything left in my marriage, but there certainly were better ways of handling that situation.

Both my wife and I and her husband and her are talking to counselors. I don't think my marriage will come through this but hers might.

But you know what? I don't feel dead inside for the first time in years. There is a song out by Evanescense right now that has the words "save me from the nothing I've become". I dedicated that song to her, even if I've lost her. She did wake me up inside. And it feels pretty damn good. Yeah, it's a bit selfish. But I can't continue to define my happiness through others.

I cannot express enough thanks to the posters in this thread, even if you totally ripped on me. I didn't want sugar-coating and certainly didn't get it. Thanks.