Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Dealing with Old Abuse in a New Relationship?

squeeeb · 07-22-2009, 01:46 PM

why don't you feel that way about all the child rapists and sexual abusers and wife beaters living in your town?

i'm not trying to be a smart ass, i'm trying to point out you cant take on everyone's pain as your own. it's bad that it happened, and you can feel disgusted and angry, but you kind of don't have any reason to be as upset by it as you appear to be. if it still bothers her and she can't let it go, if it still affects her, she might need some counseling or help and you should encourage her to get that. you weren't the victim, so your anger doesn't seem proportionate. the fact that the relationship was years ago makes it even more so. you need to understand it happened, and let it go.

07-22-2009, 01:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
squeeeb part of the problem Location: hic et ubique	why don't you feel that way about all the child rapists and sexual abusers and wife beaters living in your town? i'm not trying to be a smart ass, i'm trying to point out you cant take on everyone's pain as your own. it's bad that it happened, and you can feel disgusted and angry, but you kind of don't have any reason to be as upset by it as you appear to be. if it still bothers her and she can't let it go, if it still affects her, she might need some counseling or help and you should encourage her to get that. you weren't the victim, so your anger doesn't seem proportionate. the fact that the relationship was years ago makes it even more so. you need to understand it happened, and let it go. __________________ onward to mayhem! Last edited by squeeeb; 07-22-2009 at 01:48 PM..