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1 -What do you consider a healthy relationship?
Sex is a part of it. I think its quite important for a relationship to work for the two parties to have a similar sex drive. Two people not that into sex van get on perfect, and so can two people who like it a lot, but when one person has a significantly higher sex drive I think it can create pressure, which can turn to disappointment, resentment, and poison at the end of it.
If you are a really sexual person you need someone who is like that too to really be fulfilled.
If you have a specific fetish that you need to really get off, you'll never be totally fulfilled if the partner just thinks its wierd.
But the emotional side is the biggest part of it.
First of all you have to be able to live with each other. A lot of people can be passionately attrated to someone they cant live with. You have to be able to tolerate their foibles, love what they are, and more (and the part that was harder for me)accept that they can care about you.
If you let low self esteem drag you down,you always expect it to fail, the fact is you'll make it fail without ever realising that its what youve done.
You have to be know when to save someone's feelings and when to tell painful truths, and to it tactfully and to be able to take it how it was meant and not get defensive
You have to feel comfortable around then and them you. Be honest to each other as much as possible.
How much sex does it involve?
Depends on the people, but the key thing is that one partner doesnt want it a lot more than the other
Does it include marriage?
Doesnt need to
Do you find you're able to develop a better relationship with the opposite sex or the same sex?
For me opposite sex, because Im a heterosexual. If I was a practicising homosexual it would be the other way - but I dont think it would be fulfilling for me. Even if gay sex was what really pleasured me, I couldnt imagine feeling the same about a man. Men dont have the emotional structure of women, I guess simply women are better people than men on many levels - more caring, more protective in a genuine way (rather than jut being able to defend someone physically), more emotionally pure, more selfless... I think for a heterosexual woman or homosexual man it is tough - because the person your biology will point you at will be male. The male of the species tending to possessiveness, aggression, greed, materialism and hard thinking.
But maybe those people just have different views of what is emotionally ideal.
Have you ever been in a truly healthy relationship, or do you just dream?
I would have said no a while ago, now I think its possible
Do you feel you're capable of having a healthy relationship?
Yes
If you have a healthy one, do you feel obligated to share your secrets on keeping a healthy relationship with your friends who ask how you do it?
If something is a real secret, then its a secret. In a friendship, relationship, business relationship - betraying a confidence is amongst the foullest things that can be done.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."
The Gospel of Thomas
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