Quote:
Originally Posted by Toaster126
If I understand what you are saying correctly, you spoke to her in the way she did previously when you were on the opposite side of the conversation. How did you feel when she spoke that way to you? What would your motivation be for talking like that to her now? It seems like the very definition of passive-aggressive to me.
I don't post this to attack; if I didn't care I would not have posted. I don't think you've been treated fairly here, but I bet she hasn't been either, in this situation or others, and I'm sure you each feel like you've been treated badly by each other in the past which is magnifying something so insignificant as dishes into this negative thing. Not that this isn't important, just that what is important isn't the dishes, but your feelings around them and the communication and relationship interaction about them.
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Well, the thing is, it didn't bother me at all when she said it in the past, because I knew it was in jest, and because I just didn't mind doing a few dishes. The instance I'm thinking of, I'd had dinner with some friends of mine, and she'd had a long day and evening with the kids, so of course I didn't mind doing the dishes.
Her response to me pointing that out was that it was different when I said it, because it was demeaning to tell her to do the dishes. I don't really buy that, but I think we've worked it out to our mutual satisfaction. We don't totally agree on the issue, but we had a couple of good talks.