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What do you consider a healthy relationship?
I have no idea. I see couples around me and it's not easy for anybody. Some people seem happier and more secure in their relationships than others. But you never really know what other couples are like because their intimacy is their own. I don't look at others and wish I had what they do. Because I have no clue what it's like for them. Everyone has different needs. So healthy is different for everyone. In any romantic relationship I am in, I hope that we will be crazy about each other, be honest and treat each other with respect, our tastes will mesh with some ease, and we push all of each other's mental and physical buttons with some dexterity.
How much sex does it involve?
If things are going the right way, it should involve as much sex as we want to give each other, because we're so crazy about each other. Which would be quite often. I want a guy I am always wanting to touch, and who is always wanting to touch me, in some form.
Does it include marriage?
It includes trust, and respect, some form of commitment. Being there for each other. Not giving up when there is trouble. I think people who don't get married and stay the course seem a lot more dedicated to me. They don't have a piece of paper saying there is a contract, but they do everything that age old tradition implies. Seems like the bond is even stronger because they do it through choice and not some kind of obligation. That being said, I would get married if I had kids, because of legal issues.
Do you find you're able to develop a better relationship with the opposite sex or the same sex?
I couldn't say. It depends more on the person than on their sex. But I generally suck at making friends so.
Have you ever been in a truly healthy relationship, or do you just dream?
I don't think I have, because they all ended at one point. Ok maybe once, I was. But the fact that it ended makes me not be able to see it that way. But there were moments.
Do you feel you're capable of having a healthy relationship?
I feel I am very capable. I am a very dedicated and loyal person. I don't give up easily. If I am treated right, then I can stay the course, no doubt.
If you have a healthy one, do you feel obligated to share your secrets on keeping a healthy relationship with your friends who ask how you do it?
Not really. No-one has ever asked me that, nor would I ask anyone that. Seems like a silly question. There is no formula. Everyone needs different things. When two people (or more, depending on the kind of relationship) come together and things fit, it's always a unique blend. I would say that it's not that hard to stay together. We just like to be demanding and complicate things. If people were a little more relaxed about what they want for themselves and just let things flow, I think it would make life easier. And no, I'm not talking about settling. I'm talking about letting yourself feel things with no preconceived notions of what you should be feeling or doing.
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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.
Fernando Pessoa, 1918
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