Wow, I must have fed off your psychic vibes because I was just about to post a thread way similar to this. Creepy.
I can see this thread basically echoing the last couple significant relationship / sex threads. It's like TFP Cliff Notes.
What do you consider a healthy relationship?
Totally is two people who can talk about anything without playing bullshit deliberate-pensive-heavy-sigh games with each other. Free-flowing honest communication is the lynch pin, crux, etc. And you communicate about things that involve a need or want issue.
"I need more cuddling." "I want to smoke cigars." "I'd like a threesome." "I'm going to Spain with my friend and not you."
Assuming this means people-who-fuck / live together... I define a healthy relationship as one that allows two people to consolidate resources and join forces without encumbering themselves (solo efforts) or each other (joint ventures). You do your thing, I do my thing... we do some things together but have our own distinct friends, hobbies, me-time, etc. Key to success is having roughly compatible life goals and sharing interests / hobbies. You can't change people, so that means finding someone who's already interested in the same stuff that you are. Helps if you have the same sense of humor and are comfortable with the personal hygiene, cleanliness level, education, and money management skills of your partner.
How much sex does it involve?
Why this is placed second is telling and typical of many relationship problems. Anyschways, sex should be relative to the desires of the two partners. It shouldn't be used as a weapon. The quantity and quality are important. If one party is a nympho or has a crazy fetish that isn't being catered to... the relationship will really suffer. The monogamous nature of the typical modern relationship means sex is the tie that binds. Stupidest fucking thing on the planet, if you ask me. How love got related to the gnashing of wet genitals is beyond me.
Does it include marriage?
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Wayne Campbell
Bro, marriage is the penalty of shoplifting in some countries.
|
You know what would happen to a popular medical procedure if it suddenly had a 50% success rate? Apparently people would still be dumb enough to do it.
Do you find you're able to develop a better relationship with the opposite sex or the same sex?
I develop strong friend relationships with men. I tend to keep women in the girlfriend's friend or potential sex box to avoid confusion. Call me a pig (I am), but I have a hard time taking anything with boobs seriously after the shit I've been through. Cue the violins already.
Have you ever been in a truly healthy relationship, or do you just dream?
I suppose I dream... meaning that I haven't found a "truly healthy" relationship based on general compatibility and the grand old life time line. Emotional, sexual, or life goals didn't mesh. I've been in several long term relationships, got stupid and ended up married to one of 'em. They were all big scoops of failcream with the bittersweet cherry of never seeing them again on top. Sadly, they're like chapters in a book that you read once, tear out, and burn... hoping you learned that big take-away lesson before you forget them. It's all get some, go again. You try to find enough teeth that match up so you can get the gears turning. Sometimes it works... and sometimes it just works for awhile.
Do you feel you're capable of having a healthy relationship?
Perfectly capable given I feel like the person is capable of providing 50% of the lifting effort to hold up the relationship bridge.
The problem is do I want to settle down now with some woman that'll gently get fat and eventually become an anchor around a finger on my left hand... relegating myself to expensive hobbies and travel? Or do I wanna try for women without last names, alcoholism, and glorious single solitude in my Man Castle, working into middle age like some kind of Hugh Hefner... a total sellout in a smoking jacket.