Halanna

I read this thread yesterday. Your plea not for advice, but for actual life experience took time to settle and I've thought about it since I read it yesterday. I only hope I can convey my thoughts in a written format.

This makes me think bi-polar, schizophrenic or some other condition that could be controlled by medication.

Your soul mate does not make you unhappy or unsure of your union. Don't confuse being comfortable with finding your soul mate.

This is non-negotiable and the most serious of what you said. Never do you have to suffer any type of abuse under any circumstance, ever. While the concept of "soul mate" is beautiful, your soul mate would never hurt you in any way.

I don't believe you have dozens of soul mates. Even finding one is hard enough. With 6+ billion people on the planet, I think a needle in a haystack may be easier to find.

So now for actual life experience. I've been married for 17 years, together for 21.

About 12 years ago, our relationship went through many upheavals, trials, questions and everything that makes you second guess. What I did was project myself into the future, try and imagine my life with this person then, would I be happy, would I still love him, is this the life I want? At that time my answer was yes, I want him and I want this.

Obviously it was the right decision. Trying to envision my life 5, 10, 20 years from then with him helped me to make the decision. I knew, knew, that I could not have a life without him. Can you envision your life with him 5, 10 or 20 years from now? Can you see a life for the two of you?

There are a thousand points where you can make a connection to another human being. Choose the points you want to live with every day very carefully.

When the word 'abuse' enters your vocabulary I think your ability to envision, to connect and project do not exist. Abuse = end.