What do I
do? Currently we are working on a marriage that has hit some serious rocks and has a somewhat iff-y future. Because it's a 30 year relationship and because we have young children, we are trying to see if we can work through/around our hurdles as long as we don't become bitter enemies while doing so. We were well on our way down that slippery path until we recently found a fork in the road and headed in a different direction. Where that leads, we're not yet certain. Thus, the iff-y future.
In the past ... if it was a long term or serious relationship, I tried to work it out, even when I was the only one working on it. I stayed, way past the point of what should have been no return. If there was any chance of working it out, I stuck around. If he gave me one single thread of what I interpreted to be hope, I hung onto it like a lifeline. Like a damned puppy who refused to acknowledge it had been abandoned until someone put a bullet between its eyes. Even if there was verbal abuse. Once (but not this relationship) even when there was a bit of physical abuse.
It was usually so bad toward the end of the end, that remaining friends was not even a choice. Come to think of it, both of us being in the same building with a hope of both of us coming out alive, was no longer a choice either.
Don't do what I have done.
Use ItWasMe as a prime example of what NOT to do.
Follow Little Tippler's advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous Member
So to get back to point....at what point do you say; I think I'll pass on the communication and 'friendship' and focus on nothing but the future?
|
I would have to say, when the 'friendship' is holding you back from enjoying your future, it is time to let that go.
EDIT: I once told a fellow TFP'er ... Most of us have people who will always hold a special place in our hearts. Years ago, a wise friend told me about his ex girlfriend, "I'm not trying to forget her; I'm just trying to live without her." It's okay to keep the fond memories. As
memories.