I worked at a bar once with a waitress who was going out with a guy she met - it was their first date. Some of the regulars were giving her a hard time, saying "What if he's a pencil-dick?"
Without even the slightest pause, she replied, "That's okay; I do exercises."
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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