Yeah, the co-dependency thing is definitely at work here. The more you try to do more, the less she feels compelled to do, but even worse, the less she feels attraction to you.
This is on dealing with the co-dependency from a male perspective (as most books on the topic are definitely aimed at females.)
Keep up with the therapy. Your relationship with this woman may be beyond saving, but *you* are not. In the meantime quit trying to please her and focus more on pleasing yourself. Who knows, the change in your behavior towards her might be enough to wake her up and wonder what's going on.