What you are saying sounds pretty normal to me, when I think about it as a whole ... you want to be teased, have things drawn out and it sort of sounds like he's a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of guy.
The purpose of foreplay is to get everyone turned on and ready to go... as said above, if there is a plan in place that can kind of ruin the moment. Just enjoy the moment. He should understand that taking the time to turn you on, and get you horny will have a very high likelihood of ending in penetration.
I think it's kind of dumb to say unless you plan to let me penetrate you I'm not interested in starting anything with you.
I've heard of couples seeking out counseling to help with their sexual incompatibility perhaps this is something you can consider?
Maybe just seeking out a counselor on your own would help you understand your feelings better which will help you better explain what you are feeling to your boyfriend.
